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PodCastle 823: Your Great Mother Across the Salt Sea – Part Two

Show Notes

Rated PG-13


Your Great Mother Across the Salt Sea

by Kelsey Hutton

 PART TWO

 


 

“And just like that, Endersby was eating out of the palm of my hand!” the queen crowed to Miyohtwāw a week later. Miyohtwāw still wasn’t entirely sure who the queen had bent to her will, but she understood he was important. From a neighbouring nation, perhaps?

They met in a small salon, this time a place of Miyohtwāw’s own choosing. She liked the large windows and the wheat-coloured wallpaper, even if it did still come with a faint smell of must. The queen had acquiesced.

“He is Gallish, you know, and has never truly forgotten the Hauthasan conquest of Gallish lands, generations ago. But I convinced him to let bygones be bygones. A woman’s touch, you know. We must all forgive and forget, don’t you agree?” the queen asked, her tone attempting to be light, but coming out forced instead. She paused intently, teacup halfway to her lips.

Miyohtwāw briefly allowed herself to close her eyes. She was tired; tired of this self-involved queen, and tired of this self-righteous land. She took another sip of her own weak tea, thinking of beaten-up kettles just starting to hiss over the coals; missing the smoky scent of leather stretched out to tan over the fire.

“If harmony and justice have been restored, then yes,” she said and tried desperately to suppress a sneeze. (Continue Reading…)

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PodCastle 822: Your Great Mother Across the Salt Sea – Part One

Show Notes

Rated PG-13


Your Great Mother Across the Salt Sea

by Kelsey Hutton

PART ONE

 

Kwayask nātohta. Listen carefully. There once was a woman who sewed clothes so powerful they made you become the person you needed to be. Children’s feet wrapped in her flower-beaded moccasins never stumbled. Otipēyimisowak orators, backs held straight by her finger-woven sashes, never lost a vote. Loved ones, buried in family robes storied with a thousand hand-dyed quills, were never forgotten.

This woman, called Miyohtwāw, used her gifts with bead and shell and calico and stroud to sew kin relationships together all across the Plains. Then, at the direction of the grandmothers, she was asked to do the same between the Otipēyimisowak and the distant Hauthasan kwīn.

Yes, she remembered their language from her time with the nuns. Yes, she could still count their coin and twist her hair up like a “lady,” though it was now touched with grey. A Hauthasan lord sailing home was even willing to present her in the Hauthasan court. This lord assured the Otipēyimisowak that his great woman leader across the salt sea was a compassionate and upright woman, who cared for the people of the lands she ruled from afar like a mother cared for her children. No matter how different they might be. (Continue Reading…)

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PodCastle 821: TALES FROM THE VAULTS: It Takes a Town

Show Notes

Rated PG


It Takes a Town

by Stephen V. Ramey

“They ain’t really going through with this,” Tom said. “Are they?” The pig smell intensified, driving off more pleasant fumes of paint and honest sweat. “First the casino. Then the amusement park. Now a rocket?” He chuckled. “Won’t you crazy townies never learn?”

“This is different. This will really put Thornhope on the map.” Anthony turned back to his work. “The whole town is pitching in.” He finished outlining the final T and selected a sash brush from his tool belt. The brush’s upper portion was crusted but the tips were flexible enough. He dipped it into black paint.

“What about materials?”

“Folks are donating–”

“And what about the rocket? Where you gonna get that?”

Anthony licked his lips, trying not to lose concentration. “There’s talk about that old silo on your property–”

“My silo!” Tom laughed hard and slapped his thigh. “What in hellfire makes you think a bunch of morons and a queerball crossdresser can launch a silo to Mars?”

Anthony rolled his eyes. This was exactly the attitude he hoped to escape. “Who’s to say we can’t?”

 

Unfortunately we don’t have the full text to this one, but you can read the rest of the story here!

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PodCastle 820: Flash Fiction Extravaganza! – Comedy

Show Notes

Rated PG-13

“Holy Banana Peel!” was previously published by AntipodeanSF

“Pot” was previously published by Daily Science Fiction

“Ferryman” is a PodCastle Original!


Holy Banana Peel!

by Jane Brown

“Would you like underpants on the outside?” Celeste asked as she flicked her blonde curls out of her eyes and adjusted the tape measure.

The man’s body tensed. His green eyes darted around her shop, digesting the array of superhero outfits.

Celeste placed a hand on his shoulder. “Jim — was it? — I know it’s overwhelming. But you need to trust me. I’ll make you the perfect suit. I’m exceptionally good at my job.” She winked.

He looked into her eyes and laughed. “All right. I trust you. But no outside underpants, please.”

Celeste smiled. “It’s a bit old fashioned but you’d be surprised how many still request it.” She wrote down his arm measurements and began the inner leg. Underneath his baggy jeans and t-shirt his body was in good shape. Really good shape. Lean and muscular. With his thick black hair and light stubble, he was undeniably attractive and for a second her mind wandered before she shook herself back to reality.

“So . . . Jim, have you had your powers long?”

“A few months.”

“Radioactive spider bite? Magical ring? Experiment gone wrong?”

“I have no idea how it happened. I saw a lady getting mugged in an alleyway and before I knew it, her attackers were on the ground and I’d rescued her.” (Continue Reading…)

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PodCastle 819: Skipping Christmas

Show Notes

PG-13


Skipping Christmas

by Heather Shaw & Tim Pratt

The flight was dead: to begin with. Leo Altman was seated in suite 2K in the first-class section, his usual preference since the first row was too close to the bathroom, and had almost the whole cabin to himself. There were fourteen seats up here in first, and as far as Leo could tell, there were only two other passengers, neither nearby. There might be teeming hordes in coach, but those poor souls boarded through a separate entrance, so he’d never know. He doubted even cattle class was crowded, though. He’d done this same flight a dozen times, the first few in his early thirties, when he could only afford business class, and it was never a crowded route.

Not many people chose to take the nonstop flight from Los Angeles, California to Sydney, Australia on the evening of December 24th. If they did, they crossed the international date line on the way, landing in Sydney on the morning of December 26th, and skipping Christmas Day entirely. Leo hadn’t experienced Christmas in over a decade. Oh, Christmas still happened — his nibling Ash always sent a cheerful text about it, for one thing — but it happened without Leo, taking place on a page of the calendar that he didn’t inhabit.

The plane taxied and lifted off, and Leo ignored the chatter from the cockpit and settled in. A flight attendant brought merely adequate champagne, but soon returned with a glass of better Scotch. She didn’t even wish him “happy holidays.” Leo was content to spend the next thirteen hours basking in serenity, another annual landmine successfully avoided. (Continue Reading…)

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PodCastle 818: TALES FROM THE VAULTS ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL: The Christmas Mummy

Show Notes

Rated G


The Christmas Mummy

by Heather Shaw & Tim Pratt

Trish led Nate from the room, into the hall — their parents’ door was closed — and onto the stairs. She could hear someone moving down there. Trish crept down the carpeted steps. The only light in the living room came from the bright Christmas tree. Even the yule log in the fireplace had burned down.

Two men, dressed in black pajamas with their faces covered, were tying a big red ribbon around a crate that was bigger than the couch.

“Ninjas?” Trish whispered to her brother.

Christmas ninjas,” Nate said.

One of the ninjas pulled up his mask a little and ate one of the cookies they’d left for Santa. He drank the milk, too, leaving a white mustache on his ninja mask when he pulled it back down over his mouth.

 

Unfortunately we don’t have the full text to this one, but you can read the rest of the story here!

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PodCastle 817: Creatures in the Walls

Show Notes

Rated PG-13


Creatures in the Walls

by Damini Kane

One morning before breakfast, Roe’s mother is shrieking. She is bejewelled, always moderating her tone and smiling in placid, dull-eyed ways. She is a duchess; it’s part of her job. She only ever shouts at the servants. Today she shouts at Father.

“I refuse — what kind of creature — how DARE you —”

Roe stares at his parents, fascinated. Both are dressed in silks. The housekeeper behind them holds rolls of grey fabric in her arms. This seems to be the bone of contention. Perhaps Mother is furious because it is not as nice as the gold-embroidered dress she wears; perhaps it is a gift that didn’t meet the standard.

Roe approaches it, tugging on the housekeeper’s skirt. “Can I see?”

Madeline rushes up after him and takes his hand. “Come,” she urges. “Today you can take breakfast in the garden.”

“But —”

He is dragged out of the dining room, yet cranes his neck to see his mother ranting at Father’s stiff, silent form. The fabric in the housekeeper’s arms moves. A single pudgy hand sticks out, reaching for a shaft of sunlight. (Continue Reading…)

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PodCastle 816: ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL: The Ravens’ Sister

Show Notes

Rated PG-13


The Ravens’ Sister

by Natalia Theodoridou

There are many ways to tell this story.

All of them are true. (Continue Reading…)

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PodCastle 815: Beverly’s Sonata

Show Notes

Rated PG


Beverly’s Sonata

by Jennifer Hudak

 

When the record player first spoke to Beverly, it used the voice of her old piano. At first, just the whisper of air among strings, like a clearing of the throat. A single tap of the middle C. Then came the scales, forwards and backwards, and the muted thud of felted hammers against metal strings. Beverly took in a sharp breath. She’d learned to play her first notes on that piano, decades ago. She knew its vocabulary intimately: the delicate chuckle of the upper registers, the lisp of its sticky high A, the squeaky press-and-release of the sustain pedal. There was no mistaking it.

The scales turned into a melody, bass and treble weaving into a voice that gained strength with each pop and hiss of the needle, each revolution of the vinyl. Every glissando asked the same question: Where are you?

Beverly wavered on her feet. The carpet — too new, too plush — felt like shifting sand beneath her house slippers, and she sat heavily on the green chair. The chair was one of the few pieces of furniture to have made the journey with her from her lovely house by the sea. The piano had not. It wouldn’t have fit in her son’s van, much less this tiny apartment.

Yet here it was. Her piano. The ghost of it, anyway, hovering over the record player like French perfume on an old, forgotten coat.

The glissando again, more insistent: Where are you?

“Where are you?” Beverly echoed.

The piano answered with a thundering chord that spoke of waves crashing into cliffs, and a plink of seventh-octave keys that felt like salt spray. A solid sequence of chords drew square rooms, echoing wood floors, chilly windows that let in as much of the sun-painted ocean as possible.

Home. (Continue Reading…)

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PodCastle 814: Chewing Through Wire

Show Notes

Rated PG-13


Chewing Through Wire

By Chris Kuriata

 

Each evening, Auntie Shanta washes her muddy feet in the same bowl she eats her dinner from. She keeps clean bowls stacked in her cupboard, but those are reserved for company only. Auntie Shanta needn’t say so, but it’s been painfully long since the bowls last served company. The deep, wooden basins rumble like empty bellies after a long journey.

“She’s a darling.”

Auntie Shanta’s ancient arms strain under Emery’s weight, but she finds a reserve of strength in her ailing body and hefts the baby over her head. Sunlight beams through a hole in the roof, warming Emery and making her smile.

Pucks of dried mud in the shape of boot heels litter the front hall. I locate a broom and sweep them out into the acreage’s breeze. “When do the neighbours visit?”

Auntie Shanta makes faces at the baby. “Every goddam day.”


Auntie Shanta welcomes us with tea. “Keep an eye on him,” she warns of the great lizard who lies basking on the stone window sill. He looks too lazy to take an interest in Emery, but given the circumstances under which he and Auntie Shanta met, he cannot be trusted around a baby.

More years ago than I’ve been alive, during a routine walk to the fences, Auntie Shanta kicked a pile of hot dust, wanting to see the individual grains sparkle in the red setting sun, unaware the lizard was sleeping within. As payback for her inconsiderate act, the lizard bit her ankle and would not let go, no matter how much Auntie Shanta sweet-talked him. She told her funniest jokes, but got not so much as a giggle. Only a switch to sad stories set the lizard’s jaw quivering until he finally released the grip on her ankle. (Continue Reading…)