PodCastle 170: Five Ways Jane Austen Never Died

by Samantha Henderson

Read by Amal El-Mohtar

Originally published in Fortean Bureau

I buck out of the timestream, recover, and bend over, retching air. That’s why you don’t eat for 24 hours before you make a jump, and a purge or two’s not a bad idea, either. I learned that the hard way.

When I can straighten up, I back against the damp plaster wall (the walls at Chawton were always damp, though Edward never believed it) and wait, listening. In the late summer afternoon, heavy with heat, the ticking of the clock in the study sounds loud and portentous as a drumbeat. Scant golden light lies sluggishly against the drapes on the other end of the hallway.

Cassandra is away, visiting our brother and sister and their innumerable brood. My mother is nursing a migraine with her feet up on the best sofa in the parlor.

And Jane is coming up the stairs.

I draw my modified Glock and stand, waiting in the shadows.

Rated R: Contains Some Violence