Rated R: For language, and other shit.
Cooks Source links: Copyright Follies
by Nick Mamatas
The first time Skatouioannis made an appearance was the morning of the SATs. I had just started the ignition and was pulling out of the driveway when the ground gave way. It felt like I had hit a speed bump, or a kid, then it all went black. The edge of a shovel and a drizzle of broken glass woke me up – he was there, a silhouette with the sun behind his head, branches and telephone wires criss-crossing the sky, poking away at the windshield of my car, which was standing nearly straight up, the trunk and back seat in the sinkhole left by the collapsed septic tank. A mostly empty septic tank. The shovel came down hard.
I woke up in the hospital three days later, my first year’s tuition already spent on a new septic tank and driveway. Plus the medical bills. If there were big muddy footprints all around the front yard, they had been swept away before the doctors let me go home. Old, empty septic tanks collapse all the time, you know. It was another two seasons of mowing lawns for the little old ladies my mother knew from church before I actually got to go to school.
About the Author
Nick Mamatas is the author of several novels, including The Last Weekend and I Am Providence. His short fiction has appeared previously here at PseudoPod three times as well as in Best American Mystery Stories, Asimov’s Science Fiction, and many other venues. His next book is The People’s Republic of Everything features a decade’s worth of crimes, fantasies, original fiction, and the author’s preferred text of the acclaimed short novel Under My Roof.
About the Narrator
David O. Engelstad is a writer based in Wisconsin. His writing is primarily fantasy, with a smattering of something not quite fantasy. His book, A Call of Moonhart, released in May 2017.