by Charlie Allery.
Read by Amanda Fitzwater.
It’s not that I’m easy, y’know? I mean, I got my standards, same as everyone, and it takes more than some dime-store wrench with a cheap chrome job to loosen my drawers.
But I’m a toolbox - what am I supposed to do? These guys, they’re not NASCAR engineers with a million dollars in their pocket. They’re just regular guys, trying to earn a half-decent wage, fixing the heaps of junk that other regular guys need to get to their crummy jobs, that … well, y’know how it goes.
Rated PG. for innuendo.
Tangaroa said,
July 14, 2009 @ 2:06 pm
A cute and clever story! The innuendos had me chuckling all the way through. Amanda Fitzwater’s reading was great. I’ve been a “Fitzwater Fan” since hearing her at Darker Projects and Pseudopod.
scatterbrain said,
July 14, 2009 @ 8:11 pm
I liked the concept, but that concept didn’t feel “used” to its full extent.
phignewton said,
July 15, 2009 @ 12:52 am
…a reject from Peewees Playhouse? Doing Doing.. umpadumpa dump!
Seraph said,
July 18, 2009 @ 6:22 pm
Oh dear god this was terrible. The barrage of double entendres was cringe inducing - but not as much as the accent of the narrator ( and I’m FROM New Zealand as well ). At least it was short…
Librarian X said,
July 19, 2009 @ 1:06 pm
What the hell was that? Sorry, but I hated this one. Not funny and just weird, and not in a good way.
Natasha said,
July 23, 2009 @ 9:31 pm
Oh wow, I hated this story. Loathed it. If you want to tell a story about an inanimate object, why feel the need to gender it, and then paste all the gendered stereotypes you can think of onto it? As a woman, I have enough objectification and sexualization in everyday life- I don’t enjoy listening to someone reduce femininity to nothing but the act of being penetrated, and then go further and make the female an actual object. Cheap wordplay and adolescent humour - neither smart nor funny.
Gwen said,
August 17, 2009 @ 6:56 pm
This is the sort of story only a man could write. A woman would know better.
Mari Mitchell said,
August 19, 2009 @ 12:10 pm
Sorry I thought it was fun.
Really some folks just seem to have their panties in a bunch. Take’em off and let some air in. It will do you some good.