PodCastle Miniature 007: Tooth Fairy

By Jeffrey Valka
Read by Stephen Eley of Escape Pod
“Tooth Fairy” makes its debut in PodCastle. It was submitted as an entry in Escape Pod’s Flash Fiction Contest, February 2007.

“The first thing you need to understand is that there isn’t just one tooth fairy…there are hundreds of them. Thousands. To them, your baby tooth is precious as a diamond. They make tremendous piles and sit on them just like dragons sit on treasure. They can never get enough.” I pause for a moment to allow this information to sink in for her. “The next question you should ask me is this: where do the tooth fairies get the money that they leave under your pillow?”

“Where do they get the money?” she asks.

Rated PG. Contains adorable postmodernism.

Please visit the thread on this story in our forums.

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11 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Tad said,

    July 26, 2008 @ 10:25 am

    Since the forum post isn’t up yet, I just wanted to say:

    Huzzah! The long wait for more of the Flash Fiction contest winners is over!

    (It is, right… this *will* become a habit, I hope?)


  2. 2

    Rachel said,

    July 26, 2008 @ 12:40 pm

    Hey, Tad.

    This isn’t actually one of the winners — this is one of the stories Steve picked up on his own after the contest was over.

    None of the three winners will be appearing on PodCastle. Steve and I discussed it, and decided two of them were science fiction (#1 and #3, by Gideon Fostick), and since the 2nd place winner is by me, we felt it might be better to launch it on Escape Pod.

    Several of the non-winning flash contest purchases are science fiction, but the fantasy ones will be appearing here over the next year. Right now, the plan is to air most of them over the next few months, with the exception of Tina Connolly’s “Birthday Wish” which we currently plan to air near PodCastle’s one year anniversary.

  3. 3

    scatterbrain said,

    July 27, 2008 @ 8:38 pm

    Clever exspose on the imperialistic qualities of the tooth-recovery exploitation business.

  4. 4

    Elizabeth GM said,

    July 28, 2008 @ 1:38 pm

    What a hilarious story! As soon as my kid is old enough not to be traumatized by it, I am definitely going to tell it to him.

  5. 5

    Tom said,

    July 29, 2008 @ 11:21 am

    That was abrupt and quite refreshing. It through me off a little with the voice under the bed. It leaves me wondering if that was a fairy under the bed or maybe a troll that knows teh real reason why fairies need teeth…

  6. 6

    Sheri Bell-Rehwoldt said,

    August 8, 2008 @ 4:02 pm

    Wow. Clever. I loved all of it – well, except for the part about there being thousands of tooth fairies. There is only ONE tooth fairy – or at least so says the one who visited me and demanded I write her story.

    Have you seen this funny video on YouTube? It’s a dialogue between two tooth fairy trainees. Laughs guaranteed!



    Sheri Bell-Rehwoldt
    Author, You Think It’s Easy Being the Tooth Fairy?
    12,000 copies sold!

  7. 7

    sterling said,

    August 15, 2008 @ 10:59 am

    Great! I love this story.

  8. 8

    Spork said,

    August 21, 2008 @ 10:39 am

    I did not know it was possible to be so completely bored in such a small amount of time.

  9. 9

    The Tooth Fairy « Writing Every Day said,

    September 2, 2008 @ 10:07 pm

    […] 2, 2008 by Pam Phillips Telling us a variant on Pratchett’s multiple tooth fairies, “The Tooth Fairy,” by Jeffrey Valka sounds exactly like the absurd thing a father tells his kids just to mess […]

  10. 10

    A. Prins said,

    September 9, 2008 @ 2:17 pm

    I laughed out loud at the end–fantastic!

  11. 11

    Fred said,

    January 23, 2009 @ 11:30 am

    I’m personally very glad that the tooth faries decided to trade their useless (to them) currency for valuble children’s teeth. The old method of going around with a sock full of marbles, a rock hammer, and a pair of pliers was rather rough on the children …

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