Archive for Rated PG

PodCastle Miniature 94: Further Arguments in Support of Yudah Cohen’s Proposal to Bluma Zilberman

by Rebecca Fraimow

read by Richard Dansky

First published in Diabolical Plots. Read it here.

Rated PG.

Dear Bluma,

I heard that Hershel Schmulewitz, that blockhead, has also presumed to ask for your hand in marriage, which gives you two proposals to consider. Now, you needn’t worry that this will be a sentimental or a wheedling sort of letter. You already know how I feel, and I suppose Hershel’s not so much of a blockhead that he doesn’t feel the same way. I’m simply writing to lay out the reasons, plainly and concisely, why it would certainly be more to your benefit to marry me.

Rebecca Fraimow is an author and archivist living in Boston. Her marketable skills include identifying old videotape formats, typing extremely fast, and stealing ideas from Sholom Aleichem.

Richard Dansky is the author of several novels and a video game designer who works for Ubisoft.

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PodCastle 447: It’s a Wonderful Carol

by Heather Shaw & Tim Pratt

read by Dagny Paul

A PodCastle original!

Rated PG.

“Who the hell are you?”
The man is standing in my walk-in closet. Except he’s not. He’s also standing at the foot of my bed. And he’s sitting in my window, languid like a pampered cat. Everywhere my eyes go, there he is. He’s so beautiful my teeth ache when I look at him, like I just bit into a piece of cake that is too sweet to taste good. Then he speaks, and my ears shiver in a glorious golden aural bliss.
“I’m your muse, Colleen.”

Click here to continue reading.

Heather Shaw is a writer, editor, bookkeeper, and lindy hopper living in Berkeley, CA with her husband Tim and son River. She’s the fiction editor at the pro SF zine, Persistent Visions and has had short fiction published in Strange Horizons, The Year’s Best Fantasy, Escape Pod, PodCastle, and other nice places. She’s been a featured author at the SF in SF Reading series in San Francisco and read her poetry in front of disgruntled grunge concert-goers at Lollapalooza back when it was a thing.

Tim Pratt lives in Berkeley, California, with his wife, Heather and their son River. His fiction and poetry have appeared in The Best American Short Stories, The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror, The Mammoth Book of Best New Horror, Strange Horizons, Realms of Fantasy, Asimov’s, Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet, Subterranean, and Tor.com, among many other places. By day he works as senior editor at Locus magazine, where, among other things, he write the obituaries.

He won a Hugo Award (for “Impossible Dreams” in 2007), and has been nominated for a Nebula Award, Stoker Award, Theodore Sturgeon Memorial Award, a couple of Gaylactic Spectrum Awards, a Seiun Award, a Scribe Award, and two Ignotus Awards, among others. In 2004 he was a finalist for the Campbell Award for Best New Writer. Find him online at timpratt.org or on Twitter @timpratt.

Your narrator is Dagny Paul. Dagny is a teacher, writer, failed artist, comic book geek, and associate editor/occasional host of our sister podcast, Pseudopod (the sound of horror). (And I gotta tell you, folks, her host spots are always excellent.) She lives in the middle of nowhere, Louisiana with her husband, son, and cat. Pseudopod ran a story of hers as Episode 505: There Is No Road Through The Woods.

You can find Dagny on Twitter @dagnypaul.

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PodCastle 439: That Seriously Obnoxious Time I Was Stuck at Witch Rimelda’s One Hundredth Birthday Party

by Tina Connolly

read by Gina Freeman

First appeared in TOR.com.

So, reason number 572 why living with a wicked witch sucks? Sometimes it’s a gorgeous summer Saturday, and instead of getting a well-deserved break from Sarmine’s weird witchy chores like dusting the dried newts, you end up as an unpaid babysitter for a party full of little witches.

I set out the plates and forks for the birthday cake while surveying the swimming pool full of witch-kids. From up here they looked like any small children having fun—laughing and splashing and squealing and biting. Except, if you got close enough, you could hear them threatening to turn each other into frogs.

Around me, Witch Sarmine and all her nasty witch friends hovered around the pool like we were the first course at this birthday party. In a way, I suppose we were.

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Rated PG.

Picture of Author Tina ConnollyTina Connolly is the author of the Ironskin trilogy from Tor, and the Seriously Wicked series from Tor Teen. The newest Seriously novel, Seriously Shifted, releases November first. Her novels have been finalists for the Nebula and the Norton. Her stories have appeared on all Escape Artists podcasts, and are now collected in “On the Eyeball Floor and Other Stories” from Fairwood Press. She co-hosts at Escape Pod, narrates stories at Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Pseudopod, and right here on Podcastle, and you can find her at tinaconnolly.com.

Picture of Narrator Gina FreemanGina Freeman is a writer, comedian and bioethicist based out of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, Earth, solar system, Milky Way, local group, Virgo supercluster, observable universe, unobservable universe. She loves science and art, and especially when the two collide. She also loves her work, which allows her to think scientifically while dreaming science fictionally. She writes plays for myriad festivals, contributes to a monthly feminist podcast and radio program, runs a weekly writers room, and writes jokes for a local late-night comedy variety talk show. Find her online at ginafreeman.com.

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PodCastle 428: Madame Félidé Elopes

by K. A. Teryna translated by Anatoly Belilovsky

read by Tina Connolly

On Friday Madame Félidé bought all the smiles the local merchants had for sale. Merry and sad, shy and modest, childlike and old, tender, happy, polite, ugly, warm, soft, villainous, ironic, open, timid, grudging, obsequious — every single one. Shopkeepers dug through their deepest cellars to find silly grins that rarely sold and usually gathered dust amid bits of obsolete gossip and jokes peeled off the floor after they had fallen flat. She emptied the display cases of fleeting smiles and gullible smiles and especially made sure to acquire every single sincere smile in the entire town. She also bought two ounces of contagious laughter and half a pound of good cheer. For change, the sales clerk gave her a tulle sachet full of pointed double entendres.

Click here to continue reading.

This is this story’s first English publication. Click here to find the original story in Russian.

Rated PG.

Picture of Author K.A. TerynaK. A. Teryna is an author, screenwriter, and illustrator. Since her first publication in 2008, she has won multiple awards and had a number of her stories published in Russian Sci-Fi magazines ESLI, MIR FANTASTIKI, and other Russian publications. She lives in Moscow.

This story was written for a contest, and was based on an original painting by Yekaterina Yeliseeva.

Anatoly Belilovsky is has had over 40 original and translated stories published in English since 2011. He is a member of SFWA and Codex Writers, and has been translated into Russian, Chinese, and Spanish.

Picture of Narrator Tina ConnollyTina Connolly is the author of the Ironskin trilogy from Tor, and the Seriously Wicked series from Tor Teen. Her novels have been finalists for the Nebula and the Norton. Her first collection, On the Eyeball Floor and Other Stories, is releasing August 2016 from Fairwood Press. She is one of the co-hosts of Escape Pod, and her narrations have appeared on all 4 Escape Artists podcasts, as well as Beneath Ceaseless Skies, and her Parsec-winning flash fiction podcast Toasted Cake. Find her at tinaconnolly.com.

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