by Julia Rios.
Read by Marguerite Kenner, of Cast of Wonders.
Originally appeared in May of 2012 as a handbound chapbook with illustrations by Erik Amundsen.

Rated PG.

Teeth:

“I am no witch,” Gretel said, but she was too much in the dreamy stage to be properly annoyed.

by Rae Carson and C.C. Finlay.
Read by Nick Podel (recording courtesy of Brilliance Audio Books).
Originally appeared in Oz Reimagined: New Tales from the Emerald City and Beyond, edited by John Joseph Adams and Douglas Cohen.

Scraps, the patchwork girl, witnessed the wizard’s arrival. She sat beneath a tree watching the most spectacular show ever performed by a summer sky. White clouds swirled above an emerald colored sky like whipped marshmallow topping on a glass bowl full of lime jello spinning round and round and round on a potter’s wheel. She didn’t think it could get any more amazing when the clouds cracked open and sunlight burst through so blinding that she lifted one patchwork arm to shade her button eyes.

That’s when she saw the balloon.

Rated PG.

by Richard Bowes.
Read by Wilson Fowlie (of the Maple Leaf Singers).
Originally appeared in Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction March/April 2012.

“Silly Billy, The Sailor King,” some called King William IV of Great Britain. But never, of course, to his royal face. Then it was always,“Yes, sire,” and, “As your majesty wishes!”

He leaned out the window. “Or on a day of doldrums and no wind in the sails,” he roared as if she was up in a crow’s nest, his face red as semi-rare roast beef. “You’ll be the monarch and damn all who’d say you no.”

Rated PG.

Special thanks to M.K. Hobson – our Guest Editor and Host this week!

by Pamela Rentz.
Read by Ada Milenkovic Brown.
Originally appeared in her collection Red Tape: Stories from Indian Country.

Violet Spinks checked her to-do list for the ceremony: canoe, plants, medicine cap, trails. List-making might not be traditional, but no one would blame her for needing a brain prompt. She set the list in her medicine book and picked up the TV remote. She clicked through the channels and stopped when she spotted a young man with a torso like polished bronze. He shook out a bundle of black rubber cables and attached them to a shiny disk. The camera zoomed in on his brawny arms and legs as they worked the cables with the disk spinning in the middle. He looked like he wrestled a spider. A notice on the screen said three easy payments of $14.99 plus tax and shipping.

Rated PG.

Special thanks to Tina Connolly – our Guest Editor and Host this week! Her own podcast is Toasted Cake.

by Amanda M. Olson

Read by Amanda Fitzwater

Originally published in Beneath Ceaseless Skies. Read it here!

For two weeks after she moved into our house, no one could convince me
that Aunt Victoria was not a ghost. With soundless steps, she drifted
from room to room in a dress the same blue-gray color as the pendant
around her neck.  When she cried, I heard nothing.  Once, as Mother
tried to calm her, Aunt Victoria opened her mouth as if screaming and
broke a plate against the wall.  There was no sound from the glass
until it hit the floor.

It was ten days past her coming-of-age ceremony when she came to live
with us, after a week of urgent telegrams and hushed dining room
conversations between Mother and Aunt Lily.  This _was_ a boarding
house, Aunt Lily pointed out, and Victoria would take up one of the
rooms without paying rent.

Aunt Victoria was bad for business.  In the early days, more than
once, we would find her in a room with a knife, hacking desperately at
the ribbon around her throat. It never took the slightest damage,
though Aunt Victoria managed to cut her fingers more than once.  Other
times, she would stand at her window and stare out, causing more than
one potential boarder to start at the eerie sight and promptly take
themselves over to the less-respectable Mrs. Harper’s.  I hid behind
Mother’s skirts when Aunt Victoria came into the room.  I remember
wishing that I, too, could move in with Mrs. Harper.

Rated PG.

By Paul Willems

Translated by Edward Gauvin

Read by Marguerite Croft

Originally Published in Tales and Legends of Belgium Illustrated by Naive Painters. This translation originally appeared in Scheherezade’s Bequest #15.

Many years ago there was a small fisherman’s house on the dunes of La Panne. Rik-the-Fisherman’s wife Marie sat at the window all day long, spinning thread as she watched the sea. She was tall and thin with a tanned face and blond hair, and her eyes, from watching the sea, took on the color of the waters: blue when it was fair, green when it was cloudy, and black when there was a storm. Now, one day when Marie’s eyes were black, one stormy day, the fishing boat sank and Rik was never seen again. Marie was so sad that her eyes stayed black. As the sea reminded her of her husband, she changed places and sat at the other window, which looked out on the Abbey of the Dunes.

Two months after Rik’s death, a little girl was born in the little house. Marie called her Rika, in memory of her father. Rika grew. She always played alone in the dune and on the beach, for her mother spun from dawn till dusk to provide for them. One evening (Rika had just turned six), Mari began to weep. She wasn’t earning enough money spinning and there wasn’t anything left in the house to ea. She told Rika to go out the next day and keep watch over the sheep for the monks of the Abbey of the Dunes. The monks would surely give her a big jug of milk each day for her trouble.

But Rika replied that she would rather go to the beach. Sometimes the sea tossed up precious objects she would gather and sell.

And so it was decided.

Rated PG. No, Really.

Special thanks to our friend Mr. Wilson Fowlie for guest-hosting this episode!

by Claire Humphrey

Read by Tatiana Gomberg

Originally published in Strange Horizons. Read the story here!

Making friends with Ginevra was like taming a stray cat. First I started hanging around in areas where she might be found. If she showed, I didn’t approach her. I just stood there, smoking, or I read something, glancing at her secretly from behind my hair. Then I started catching her eye once in a while. Then I started smiling.

Then I started dating Christopher Potter; I dumped him after a few weeks, but that got me introduced to Pete Janaczek, which got me the invite to Pete’s party, which got me in the same room as Ginevra while she was tipsy and expansive, and then-finally-it happened.

All that was a lie, you know. As if I could plan anything like that. It’s only in hindsight that I realize why I started spending time in the smoke-hole in the first place. So many of the things we do, we keep from ourselves.

Rated PG.

by Saladin Ahmed

Read by Rajan Khanna

Originally published in Beneath Ceaseless Skies. Read it here!

Doctor Adoulla Makhslood, the best ghul hunter in the great city of Dhamsawaat, was weary. Two and a half bars of thousand-sheet pastry sat on his plate, their honey and pistachio glazed layers glistening in the sunlight that streamed into Yehyeh’s teahouse. Adoulla let out a belch. Only two hours awake. Only partway through my pastry and cardamom tea, and already a panicked man stands chattering to me about a monster! God help me.

He brushed green and gold pastry bits from his fingers onto his spotless kaftan. Magically, the crumbs and honey-spots slid from his garment to the floor, leaving no stain. The kaftan was as white as the moon. Its folds seemed to go on forever, much like the man sitting before him.

“That hissing! I’m telling you, I didn’t mean to leave her. But by God, I was so scared!” Hafi, the younger cousin of Adoulla’s dear friend Yehyeh, had said “I’m telling you” twelve times already. Repetition helped folk talk away their fear, so Adoulla had let the man go on for a while. He had heard the story thrice now, listening for the inconsistencies fear introduces to memories– even honest men’s memories.

Adoulla knew some of what he faced. A water ghul had abducted Hafi’s wife, dragging her toward a red riverboat with eyes painted on its prow. Adoulla didn’t need to hear any more from Hafi. What he needed was more tea. But there was no time.

Rated PG.

by Marissa Lingen

Read by Tina Connolly (of Toasted Cake)

Originally published in Lightspeed Magazine. Read the story here!

The usual bidders were there, of course: Dame Eleanor in her sensible pantsuit, Miss Hawes and Miss Singh in their black leather jackets, the full brocade skirts of Mrs. Perriwhite. For whatever reason, we women have always made up the majority of phoenix egg collectors, and nowadays we did not have to send male proxies to do our bidding for us; now we could cordially hate each other directly.

There were other women, less serious than we five, and three men in the auction room: the auction house manager, Mr. Samoilenko himself, and John Weadsleigh. John was one of us, and we accorded him the respect of cordially hating him without regard to his gender. Even Miss Hawes, whom I suspect of hating men in general, did John the courtesy of hating him individually, as a competitor for phoenix eggs rather than as a man, which may be the most generous thing I have ever known her to do.

This was not a situation that encouraged generosity.

Rated PG.

Find out more about Lakeside, the Jay Lake documentary, here.

Find out more about You Caring’s Sequence a Science Fiction Writer here.

by Scott H. Andrews

Read by Eric Luke (check out his new podiobook Interference!)

Originally published in Space and Time.

“Please lend me your second copy of the _Chronicles_, O magnanimous lord of bound volumes,” cried the scholar standing in the street.

Endart Sscowth, the most prosperous bookseller in all Samech Tern, and by that token in the whole of Hyposudia, was startled from his reverie by the reedy voice.  His ruminations, as he walked homeward that evening, had been lavish with the parchment scent of antique books, the supple smoothness of age-worn buckram, and the vivid hues of many-lettered spines in piles, stacks, and teetering columns, all atop the bookshelves of Endart Sscowth.  Now this scholar had chased that vision from his mind.

“Your pardon, but I ceased lending my treasures long ago, after too many were returned with dents and creases.”

“Then I offer to buy it, O generous one.”

Rated PG.