By Peter S. Beagle
Read by Stephen Eley (of Escape Pod)

The Tyrannosaurus — an innocent in many ways — had never had a personal message in her life, and the notion was an exciting one.  Her forearms were small and weak, compared to her immense hind legs, but she was able to grip the nondescript little animal and lift him fifteen feet up, where she held him nose to nose, his beady red-brown eyes meeting her huge yellow ones with their long slit pupils.  “Be quick,” she advised him, “for I am hungry, and where there’s one of you, there’s usually a whole lot, like zucchini.  What was the message you wanted to give me?”

The creature, if somewhat slow of action, atoned for this failing by thinking far faster than any dinosaur.  “A large asteroid is about to crash into the earth,” it chirped brightly back at the Tyrannosaurus.  “So if you happen to be nursing any unacted desires, now would be the time.  To act them out, I mean,” it added, realizing that the Tyrannosaurus was blinking in puzzlement at him.  “It’ll happen next Thursday.”

Rated G. Contains controversial theories on climate change and evolution.  (I.e., that they exist.)