Archive for Rated G

PodCastle Miniature 90: How to Survive in Room 105

by T. Jane Berry

read by Jen R. Albert

This is a PodCastle Original!

Principal Freezarro announced that you’re substitute teaching in my kindergarten class for the next few weeks. I’m so excited! I’ve seen your work with the Vindicators, and just to let you know, I think it’s ridiculous that you were sentenced to six months of community service over the bridge incident. Who expects you to save the city from an army of wood chipper-earthworm hybrids and not take out a few historic landmarks? As we say in room 105, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” And please, please don’t let them get upset.

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Rated G.

T. Jane Berry has held various jobs, including IT manager, political blogger, bakery owner, and a disastrous two weeks as line worker in a razor blade factory. She now writes science fiction, fantasy, and horror from the outskirts of Seattle with considerably fewer on-the-job injuries. Her fiction has appeared in Clowns: The Unlikely Coulrophobia Remix. You can find her on Twitter @tjaneberry.

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PodCastle 413: This is Not a Wardrobe Door

by A. Merc Rustad

read by a full cast!

  • Dave Thompson as The Narrator
  • Jen R. Albert as Ellie/Ell
  • Rachael K. Jones as Zera
  • Alasdair Stuart as Misu
  • Khaalidah Muhammad-Ali as The Falcon Queen
  • Graeme Dunlop as The Forgotten Book
  • Marguerite Kenner as Lorraine

Originally published in Fireside Fiction Magazine. Support their Patreon campaign for more excellent stories!

Zera packs lightly for her journey: rose-petal rope and dewdrop boots, a jacket spun from bee song and buttoned with industrial-strength cricket clicks. She secures her belt (spun from the cloud memories, of course) and picks up her satchel. It has food for her and oil for Misu.

Her best friend is missing and she must find out why.

Rated G.

Merc Rustad is a queer transmasculine non-binary writer and filmmaker who lives in the Midwest United States. Favorite things include: robots, dinosaurs, monsters, and tea. Their stories have appeared in Lightspeed, Fireside Fiction, Daily Science Fiction, Escape Pod, Mothership Zeta, and InterGalactic Medicine Show, as well as the anthology The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2015.

Merc has a new story about robots and gender in Cicada Magazine’s July/August, and reprints in Wilde Stories 2016 and Lightspeed.

Please stick around after the episode for an editorial announcement from Rachael K. Jones, or check out her blog post on her website!

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PodCastle 368: Dinkley’s Ice Cream

by Effie Seiberg

read by Khaalidah Muhammad-Ali

Originally appeared in “Fierce Family”, a Crossed Genres anthology showing positive representations of QUILTBAG families, in January of 2014.

Shanti squirmed with anticipation, trying to wriggle away from my hairbrush but caught by the knots in her curls. “A fair!” she said. “With monkeys and elephants and a magic man!”

“Yes, a fair!” I agreed, not wanting to confirm the rest – not wanting to set up any disappointment as I set down the brush on her bedside table. She beamed up at me with her sunshine smile and I looped a thin elastic around a pigtail. Four years old, and I’d never been able to take her before. Too expensive.

Fairs don’t come to the city. It’s too crowded, and where would they set up the tents? To even get to the fair it was a five dollar bus ride (two dollars for kids), plus a dollar eighty five for the shuttle if you didn’t walk. We walked.

Rated G.

Effie Seiberg is a science fiction and fantasy author living in San Francisco. A graduate of Taos Toolbox, her short fiction can be found or is upcoming in Lightspeed Magazine’s “Women Destroy Science Fiction”, Crossed Genres Magazine, and Stupefying Stories, among others. She lives near the former and upcoming (but not present) sculpture of a 4-ft-tall pink bunny head holding a skull in its mouth. You can follow Effie on her website,, or on Twitter, at @effies.

Khaalidah Muhammad-Ali lives in Houston, Texas with her husband of twenty-five years and three children. By day she works as a breast oncology nurse. At all other times she juggles, none too successfully, writing, reading, gaming and gardening. She has self-published one novel entitled An Unproductive Woman, has published a story at Escape Pod and has a story upcoming in the An Alphabet of Embers anthology. Khaalidah also reads slush at Escape Pod where she is on a mission to encourage more women to submit science fiction stories.

Of her alter ego, K from the planet Vega, it is rumored that she owns a time machine and knows the secret to long youth.
You can catch her posts at her website,, and you can follow her on twitter, @khaalidah.

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PodCastle 343: Elf Employment

by Heather Shaw and Tim Pratt

Read by Wilson Fowlie (of the Maple Leaf Singers)

A PodCastle Original!

Alex was seven when he ran away to join Santa’s elves.

If anyone had asked why he wanted to leave home, he would have said “I hate it
here!” (Actually, he would have said, “I’m not telling you!”, then raced into his room and slammed the door, which is one way to say “I hate it here!” in the language of seven-year-olds.)

Alex had his reasons. Even after he started second grade, his parents made him go to bed at 7:30, even though all his friends stayed up until eight, and Fletcher didn’t go to bed until 9:00 p.m., an unmatched hour in his little boy crew. For Halloween, Alex wasn’t allowed to be Darth Vader, because his parents didn’t like him “idolizing villains,” and they made him be a Jedi knight instead. Alex made the best of it by telling everyone he was young Anakin Skywalker (a detail he kept from his parents so they wouldn’t change his costume into something stupid, like old Obi-Wan). He wasn’t allowed play dates with the two kids he liked the most, just because they got in trouble for chasing some kindergarteners and putting dirt in their hair. What was the big deal? Alex had gotten dirt rubbed in his hair when he was new, too!

Rated G

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