Archive for Miniatures

PodCastle Miniature 83: Double Feature! Two by Nathaniel Lee

The Machine That Made Clothes
By Nathaniel Lee
Read by Wilson Fowlie (of the Maple Leaf Singers)
A PodCastle Original!

He stood in front of the machine that made clothes and fretted.  He already had a fur suit, a carpet suit, and a brick suit.  Everyone had a water suit; it was practically cliche.

Last week he’d had a Pop-Tart suit for a lark.  That had been popular, but he couldn’t go back to that well so soon.  Anyway, it smacked too much of the bacon suit fad from last year.  He’d had to shower for an hour to get un-sticky afterward.

He’d even done a suit suit, which had helped keep his reputation for the sartorial avant-garde.

Harriet, their aging basset hound, shuffled into the bedroom and plopped down beside him.  He looked at Harriet and pursed his lips.

Tired Eyes and Clever Hands
by Nathaniel Lee
Read by LaShawn Wanak
A PodCastle Original!

The Brindletom woke after Erdi had already finished her eggs and was on her second cup of coffee.  He swung down from his nest in the rafters and slid along the ropes to the table.  Erdi pushed the plate of bacon toward him.

“I had a dream last night,” he piped, plucking a bacon strip up with his clever forepaws and gnawing on it.

“Do tell,” Erdi said, somewhat blearily.  She was considering a third cup of coffee.

“I dreamed that I was a man accursed, trapped in a hideous mannikin body, and bound to a cruel sorceress who had promised to help me, to return me to my place and my true form, but upon whose pleasure I must wait and serve in the interim.  I dreamed that my servitude would have no end, for I was sworn to her unto death and she would live forever.”

Rated R. Contains Unethical Clothing Options.

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PodCastle Miniature 82: Lord Darq, Regis and the Orb of Power

by John Nickerson
Read by Graeme Dunlop
A PodCastle Original!

“What’s wrong?”

“I just … wasn’t expecting that. Usually it goes ‘Join me and together we can rule the world’, then you heroes say ‘Never!’, and we fight. Nobody’s ever just said ‘Okay’ like that.”

“So what now?”

“Don’t know. I had a great battle planned for us, through the ice caves, over the lava lake, into the mud plains, it would have been spectacular. Now, I guess … do you want to see the inner lair?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Rated PG.

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PodCastle Miniature 79: The Dolphin

by Dave Bishop

Read by Joe Scalora

A PodCastle Original!

I couldn’t see anything amiss and I’d already signed my name, so I pulled myself from my mother’s embrace and sailed away with her tears staining my coat.

“Man the pumps,” called the mate on my first watch.  “Davey Jones is watching us and he thinks the God damn Dolphin‘s his very own pet.  He wants her back, you dogs, so pump or we’ll all go swimming.”

“God damn the Dolphin,” we said as we pumped all ninety-five days to Montego Bay though the sky was untouched, the glass stayed high, and a soft breeze blew us gently from the East.
Rated R. Goddamn the Dolphin! Happy Halloween!

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PodCastle Miniature 76: Quiet Death Machines

by Gillian Daniels.
Read by David D. Levine.
A PodCastle Original!

The evil boy genius lives in a lighthouse with his handsome older brothers. They are loud and aggressively kind. He is neither. Instead, the evil boy genius wants to very softly destroy the world with quiet death machines. He edges knives in cork and skewers stuffed bears on meat hooks.

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