Rated PG-13 for mild language.
There Are No Wrong Answers
by LaShawn M. Wanak
Please select the answer below that feels most comfortable to you. There are no right or wrong answers. Your results will be tallied at the end.
Question one: If you were to arrive at your apartment to find your front door ajar and your chocolate Labrador missing, would you:
- Wander about the apartment complex, tapping a can of Alpo with an opener and calling (softly) “Here, Marti! Here Marti!” Grin sheepishly when the Filipina neighbor across the hall peeks from her apartment, then swear when she slams the door.
- Call the police and argue with the dispatcher. “Of course it’s an emergency, she’s a chocolate lab, dammit. You know how much money I paid for her? Hello? Hello?”
- Screw it. Go fix yourself a margarita because Marti is bound to get bored at some point and come back. Stupid dog.