PodCastle 439: That Seriously Obnoxious Time I Was Stuck at Witch Rimelda’s One Hundredth Birthday Party

by Tina Connolly

read by Gina Freeman

First appeared in TOR.com.

So, reason number 572 why living with a wicked witch sucks? Sometimes it’s a gorgeous summer Saturday, and instead of getting a well-deserved break from Sarmine’s weird witchy chores like dusting the dried newts, you end up as an unpaid babysitter for a party full of little witches.

I set out the plates and forks for the birthday cake while surveying the swimming pool full of witch-kids. From up here they looked like any small children having fun—laughing and splashing and squealing and biting. Except, if you got close enough, you could hear them threatening to turn each other into frogs.

Around me, Witch Sarmine and all her nasty witch friends hovered around the pool like we were the first course at this birthday party. In a way, I suppose we were.

Rated PG.

Picture of Author Tina ConnollyTina Connolly is the author of the Ironskin trilogy from Tor, and the Seriously Wicked series from Tor Teen. The newest Seriously novel, Seriously Shifted, releases November first. Her novels have been finalists for the Nebula and the Norton. Her stories have appeared on all Escape Artists podcasts, and are now collected in “On the Eyeball Floor and Other Stories” from Fairwood Press. She co-hosts at Escape Pod, narrates stories at Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Pseudopod, and right here on Podcastle, and you can find her at tinaconnolly.com.

Picture of Narrator Gina FreemanGina Freeman is a writer, comedian and bioethicist based out of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, Earth, solar system, Milky Way, local group, Virgo supercluster, observable universe, unobservable universe. She loves science and art, and especially when the two collide. She also loves her work, which allows her to think scientifically while dreaming science fictionally. She writes plays for myriad festivals, contributes to a monthly feminist podcast and radio program, runs a weekly writers room, and writes jokes for a local late-night comedy variety talk show. Find her online at ginafreeman.com.

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