PC 467: How I Became Coruscating Queen of All the Realms, Pierced the Obsidian Night, Destroyed a Legendary Sword, and Saved My Heart’s True Love

by Baker and Dovey
read by Aimee Kuzenski
hosted by Graeme Dunlop
First published in No Sh!t There I Was….

Rated R for adult content

No shit, there I was, knee-deep in necromantic weasels in the lair of the mad wizard-king, when Korgar and Elutriel both decided it was time to win my affections once and for all. Elutriel had summoned an aura of resistance, an iridescent bubble free of weasels. He struggled forwards, heaving against the weight of their wasted furry bodies.

Elutriel had summoned an aura of resistance, an iridescent bubble free of weasels. He struggled forwards, heaving against the weight of their wasted furry bodies. (Click here to read more.)

Picture of Author Baker & DoveyBaker & Dovey is a gestalt entity which currently inhabits two human fools separated by the Atlantic ocean and several thousand miles of dirt. When not authoring ludicrous parodies of childhood imaginings, the entity lives in the pauses between words, in the spaces between heartbeats, in the rats between the walls. UNESCO has not responded to e-mails asking whether Baker & Dovey is a global cultural asset or a sign of humanity’s inevitable return to the muck whence it came.

Picture of Narrator Aimee KuzenskiAimee Kuzenski writes and narrates fiction. She went to school for both acting and electrical engineering and has trained in Filipino Martial Arts for the past eight years. She currently lives in Minneapolis, MN with a hairless cat named Beatrice.

You can find her online at www.akuzenski.com and on Twitter @aimeekuzenski.

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PodCastle Miniature 97: When I Had Eyes, I Didn’t See

by Anna Yeatts
read by Dani Daly
hosted by Jen Albert
First published in Penumbra

Rated R for disturbing themes and imagery

I had eyes once.
Before the Lift-man came.
Now I have knobs, smooth and black and round as pegs. I touch them with my fingertips and try to remember what it felt like, having eyes.
If I push one knob in, the other one pops out like the elevator buttons used to do.
There used to be a brass plate mounted on the wall next to the elevator’s cage with two smooth black pegs. I pushed in the top peg to go up. The bottom peg popped out. Gears ground, cables groaned, and the elevator clanked down to the lobby. (Click here to read more.)
Anna Yeatts is a writer, publisher, and editor living in North Carolina. Her short fiction has appeared in Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show, Daily Science Fiction, and Mslexia among other venues. When not writing, Anna publishes Flash Fiction Online and her newest venture, NASTY: Fetish Fights Back. She lives in a houseful of wildling children and far too many animals. Follow her on Patreon (http://www.patreon.com/flashfictiononline), Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/anna.yeatts), or on Twitter @AnnaYeatts.

Dani Daly is one of the assistant editors of Cast of Wonders, and narrating is just one of the things she loves to do. She’s a retired roller derby player and current hobbyist soap maker, for instance. She rants on twitter as @danooli_dani too, if that’s your thing. Or you can visit the EA forums. She loves it there.

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PC 466: Blood Stone Water

by Amanda Fitzwater
read by Amanda Fitzwater
hosted by Graeme Dunlop
First published in Beneath Ceaseless Skies

Rated PG-13

Tau bit deeper with her paddle, and green water hushed beneath the oka hull. Nhia sat in the bow, serene as when they’d pushed off from Ia that sunrise to a farewell ululation. Her fingertips trailed in the smooth ocean, eyes unfocused on the fins that kept time or searching further forward to their destination five sunrises hence. (Click here to read more.)

Picture of AJ FitzwaterAJ Fitzwater is a dragon wearing a human meat suit, living between the cracks in Christchurch, New Zealand. She attended the Clarion workshop in 2014, and won the Sir Julius Vogel Award 2015 for Best New Talent. Stories have been published in venues such as Shimmer Magazine, Crossed Genres Magazine and various Crossed Genres anthologies, “At The Edge” an anthology of New Zealand and Australian speculative fiction from Paper Road Press, The Future Fire, and more.

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PC 465: Never Truly Yours

by Marion Deeds
read by Abra Staffin-Wiebe
hosted by Graeme Dunlop
A PodCastle Original!

Rated PG-13

October 13, 1931
Dear Neville
I remember you asked me once, darling, how I got my outrageous name. You were laughing, a highball glass in your hand, at the time——convinced, I’m sure, that I would have some witty story about a character from musical theater or a wager made and lost. Just as I know, when I’ve said to you that I’ve had a bad life and done terrible things, you probably pictured a humble mother—perhaps a seamstress—a gamekeeper father, or me betting too much at Baccarat and frequenting speakeasies. (Click here to read more…)

Marion Deeds writes speculative fiction and urban fantasy. She is a reviewer and columnist for Fantasyliterature.com

Abra Staffin-Wiebe  (AWE-bruh STAFF-Inn WEE-bee) loves dark science fiction, cheerful horror, and futuristic fairy tales. Dozens of her short stories have appeared at publications including Tor.com, Escape Pod, and Odyssey Magazine. She lives in Minneapolis, where she wrangles two small children, three large cats, and one full-sized mad scientist. When not writing or wrangling, she collects folk tales and photographs whatever stands still long enough to allow it. Go to aswiebe.com to discover her fiction about fluffy pink murderbears, firebirds bearing gifts, and other things beautiful and bizarre.

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